FOX SAYS,
EVERYTHING I NEEDED TO LEARN I LEARNED IN JUNIOR HIGH

At first I don’t get it, the thing Fox has for CNN, the Fox billboard in Atlanta across the street from CNN that taunts CNN with insults. Then I get it! It’s grade school emotions come into the professions! It’s the people who can’t get grade school out of their systems so they join Fox and carry their battle into the adult world. It’s the dummies who still think like 12 year olds who taunted and teased those smarter than they were in junior high. Fox boys are the guys who pulled down the school average and made life hell for intelligent students.

Used to be that someone with something on the ball could leave behind the dummies and make a better life for themselves in the professions. Now, with America’s decline in literacy, with illiterate TV standards helping them, with the usual growth of conservatism that illiteracy evokes, the schoolyard bullies can make a living in the bigs too. They tailor their news to those who still think at the level of a 12 year old. Well, I suppose, since most writing is still at the 12 year old level, someone has to represent the schoolyard dummies too.


MORE DANGEROUS SCHOOL YARD FOX PEOPLE

These gang children who write on walls, who mark their territories like dogs or foxes—what do we make of them? They’re about two years old emotionally; that’s when children write on walls at home too. But just because they’re emotionally retarded, animal-like children doesn’t keep them from being dangerous. They’ve got the strength of adults and the aggression of Fox people and so they can do tremendous damage when their aggressions get out of hand. I think those kids are just one more sign, like the decline of news standards at Fox, of the decline of American standards in conservative times. Fortunately, such things are cyclical.


SPEAKING OF FOX BARKS

When I get my perspective right on talk radio, I can get a laugh. Suddenly I see all these conservative talk guys in the kennels of their time slots, side by side, barking furiously and angrily from the concrete cavern of their Fox boarding kennel. They’re barking at the ghosts in their heads and stirring up the fearful barkings of their listeners. All is sound and fury, signifying nothing. Aarf aarf aarf, yip bark, bark, aarf aarf aarf, yip yap yoiks! They and their listeners—they’re hilarious.


SPEAKING OF FOX NEWS FAILURES:

"An author's first duty is to let down his country" —Brendan Behan (1923-1964