MEDIEVAL CROWS COME TO ROOST IN THE BUSH

Last time I looked out the window, I saw automobiles swooshing by on this morning’s wet pavement. I didn’t see one wooden-wheeled ox cart lumbering along. This is the 21st Century, isn’t it? Sometimes the news issuing from the Bush fiefdom makes me picture Macbeth’s three bent witches, circling a boiling pot, mumbling, “Bubble bubble, toil and trouble....” I picture medieval scholastics discussing how many angels can fit on the head of a pin. It’s Nancy and Ronny consulting an astrologer all over again....

My sources tell me that during discussions about stem cell research, Bush’s religious advisers were throwing around the concept of the “moment of ensoulment”. Where do you find the soul? Is it in the toe as well as the thumb? Is it in both lungs? How much does it weigh? How can you measure at exactly what moment, the soul comes in? What piece of equipment measures the “moment of ensoulment”? Let me see—I assert the soul comes in at exactly the moment the newborn exits the birth canal. My measuring equipment is every bit as good as theirs. Mine’s called a bullshit detector.


A CONTRADICTION TO THE ABOVE

“So I try not to learn, disengage because reasons
block the next needed feeling. While others
talk, all of my tentative poems begin
to open their eyes....” —William Stafford

from “Following the ‘Markings’ of Dag Hammarskjold”

(Dag was one of the first UN Secretary Generals and also a poetic writer.)


SO WE LOST THE WAR IN VIETNAM. SO WHAT?

We supposedly lost the Vietnam War. Therefore, that loss should give us a benchmark by which to gage the importance of Bush’s war in Iraq which, according to him, we must not lose. Okay—what major difference is the lost war in Vietnam making in the history of the world today?

By the way, we didn’t lose that war. We turned the war over to the South Vietnamese and they lost it.

Actually, there are many alternative explanations among the Bushites, the same Bushites who talk about the "moment of ensoulment". Martians sneaked in and helped the North Vietnamese. They came in through the Stargate at Rosewall. Another theory is that the South Vietnamese were bitten by an exotic Bible mosquito that carried a loser virus. The favored Bushite theory is that it’s all predicted in the Bible, in Markthewlukejohn 40:love, in which it is written that the Great Blogger will come from a kingdom in the Northernmost regions of Hell with laughing chariots of fire, saying, "Ho, ho, ho," to defeat a great red, white and blue soaring thing in the sky.


ANY IDIOT CAN TELL YOU

A recent poll question asks whether Bush or Kerry can best keep America safe from terrorists. Anyone who would think he really could answer that question is probably too dumb to be answering poll questions.