GOD DON’T MAKE NO JUNK?

I’ve found this little espresso joint in Vancouver Washington called “Café Divine”. It’s attached to a Christian bookstore, and, yes, the espresso joint is full of Bible-reading Christians. I think I’m going to have to find a different place to drink my espressos and do my algebra problems. Here’s why.

Yesterday, I heard one of the Bible people tell another Bible person that “God don’t make no junk.” Another time, I heard one claim that “God don’t make no mistakes.” Lot’s of false and crazy info floating around the place. I don’t want to be corrupted by so much wrong information.

I’ve searched and I’ve searched, and I can’t find anywhere in the Bible the claim that “God don’t make no junk”. And I’m almost certain that God has made a mistake or two. I think he regretted that he wiped out most of the human race and promised never to do it again. Now, I’ve never regretted doing something right. In fact, I usually rejoice when I do do something correctly.

Not only can’t I find anywhere in that bad old book that God don’t make no junk, I also find lots of information that these folks never seem to hear. For instance he wants them to stone to death all adulterers. He doesn’t want them eating shellfish. He tells them to “beat” their children and that their eyes must look into there own bellies. Over and over he tells them to be stupid and to honor ignorance. (Most Christians do honor those last two admonitions.) He tells them not to charge interest rates. He tells women not to wear trousers and men skirts unless they be male Scottish Christians. Then it’s okay to wear skirts. All young women who have premarital sex are to be stoned to death also. As Bob Dylan notes in his interpretation of the good book, “Every body must get stoned.”

God tells Christians to eat the pygarg too, if they can find one. He also tells them not to eat pork which only the Jewish Christians adhere to. He also tells them not to make “burnt offerings” to him, so why do Christians support capital punishment? Of course, many times in Deuteronomy God mentions that only Israel has to obey these many rules for living so why do American Christians obey any of them? Can’t they read? Not only these things do I mention, but God tells Christians in Deuteronomy 7 and beyond to utterly smite and destroy their enemies, to push them out of their lands and to do all manner of foul things to people who don’t believe as Christians do. . . . Wait! Now, there, Christians have been very obedient. You’d almost think that they’re just like the Moslems who they claim are out to destroy everyone who isn’t a Moslem.

Anyhow—you get my drift. Enough said. The three pictures included in the text are of our new digs in Vancouver. Pretty pretty if you ask me.
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